Falling in Love Was Not the Plan — Chapter 39 The best love confession ever!**

Amara's point of view...

A ball of mixed emotions bust inside me. I was feeling all but sad.

I still cannot trust my eyes. The face k was staring right now, was the face I have frequently seen in my dreams. The skin that I was feeling under my fingers belonged to the guy who seemed far away from me and my hold. I thought I would never ever be able to get him.

He was like an antique piece that everyone wanted including me but, I did not feel myself deserving enough to get him.

However, having him lie under me, in my bed, right in my room... I just can't find words to describe my emotions all at once.

"You really came for me, Alex!" I saw his face turning into a frown and the sweet smile that made me smile was long gone.

He pressed his lips together as his eyes glared me. I felt like killing myself at the moment because I was just acting stupid.

Damn... He was really there. With me. In my room.

I quickly lowered my eyes. Locking my pupils with the buttons of his t-shirt I roamed the tip of my finger on his chest making random patterns. I did not know what to react as I frowned him with my stupidity.

"Amara..." a grasp left my lips as I sensed my wrist being pulled.

I Ianded on him, our faces inches away while he caressed my cheek with the back of his thumb, "If I ever shout on you, or show you my anger... Just pull me by my collar and slap me hard. But dare you... Dare you look away like that and feel scared." I was dumbfounded after listening his words.

Did he really mean that?

I have seen other guys acting all rough and dominating towards their girls. However, Alex, he was just suggesting me to do the worst with him.

My eyes lingered on his face as he pulled me closer by my waist. I placed my one hand on the mattress next to his face in order to balance my body on him as I was in damn uncomfortable position while with the arm arm I supported my body on his chest by placing it on his shoulder. Both my legs were on either side of his waist and bent from the knees while my knees pressed on the mattress.

A grasp left my lips yet again when I felt his fingers— going down under my hips and grabbing my butt with his free hand while the other one pulled me by my waist, "Alex" I uncomfortably call his name.

A smirk grew on his face and I understood he was purposely doing that to me. I would not mind him touching me as I have dreamed him loving me like his everything but the main problem was my clothing. I was wearing a very short underpants and a loose thin top.

"Sshh, let me feel you. You have no idea what have I gone through the entire day. I think I deserve that much." he shushed me.

I felt his fingers grasping my butt in between his fingers and scratching my skin with his nails. I have lost myself in the pleasure of his presence and closed my eyes to feel the moment when I heard something that just tore my eyes with fresh hot tears,

"I am sorry, Amara. I am really very sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Yep, it was a plan to become friends with you and seek advantage of your intelligence as you were the God damn topper of the class.

It was a plan that I made with my friends but trust me, Falling in love was not a plan.

Yes, Amara... I love you. " He chuckled.

I chose to keep my eyes closed and listen his words. His fingers sneaked inside my shorts and moved his palm on my bare butt, I was literally falling short of air, yet I let him do it and lost myself in the beats of his heart while he continued further. "I don't know how and when it happened but it just happened... And I am happy that it did. I can't put my feelings into words Amara.

You don't know how low had I felt when I told you that I wanted to revise alone, before the exams. You don't know how much I missed your laughs and your presence during that time when I told you that I would do the further study alone without your help.

Well I just wanted to get rid of you as you were affecting me. The kiss that we shared... It was playing with my hormones Amara. And I just wanted to do more than a freaking kiss to you. I wanted to love you, rip your clothes and ravish your skin, but I was scared. I had known that you were not that type of girl.

How can I forget you, Amara... You were the very first person I met on the college campus." I smiled recollecting the very first day of the college.

He was indeed the first person I met in the college. We were each other's firsts until he decided to move on with the bold group of students and leave me behind.

I shoved those thoughts away and focused on his words further. It was like a dream come true hence I wanted to feel every word he was telling to me tonight, "I knew you won't appreciate my moves. I was scared that you would create a wrong perception about me in your mind after our kiss and I did not want that. You were the only person in the college before whom I did not have to pretend to be the best. I was what I am, in front of you.

And to keep that image in your eyes intact, I just decided to ignore you. But as you see, ignorance did not work. " He sighed.

I sensed him pulling out his fingers from under my shorts and place them back on my hips above the fabric of the same and caress the area with his rough palm.

"I never noticed that I was in love until I you spilled the truth. I never knew I... Alex Ragnar, the famous playboy of the college was in love with you unless I saw you accepting your feelings.

You were so selfless and straight forward, Amara. You did what I could not. You faced me, and expressed your feelings while I only chose to run away like a coward being scared of getting your hatred on return of my confession.

You said every that damn word I had in my heart but I only chose to let it remain inside me.

And when you walked away after saying that you would never see me... Trust me Amara I felt hollow from within. It felt as if a part of me was walking away. And I was feeling so low and cowardly that I could not even stop you." The tears that I have held behind my closed eyes broke the layer of my resistance and drip one by one on his nose.

I can feel him glancing me while I cried yet Alex let me effuse my emotions and proceeded ahead, "I don't think I would have gathered my courage and came here if Chloe had not met me in the morning." by the mention of my room mate's name, I shot open my eyes and stared him.

His grip around my hips loosened and Alex cleaned my tears away with a smile, "Yeah, Chloe. She came to see me in the morning.

Actually, last night I had an argument with Perry. The same old shit about feeling insecure and wanting to stay with me. Her empty apologies and cries... She was just jealous when we would study together. She even told me that my closeness with you was one of the reasons why she hit on our professor.

Isn't it pathetic? When she could not find a better excuse to hide our betrayal, she held our closeness an excuse.

She was only using me for popularity and fame but when I started spending time with you, obviously for the purpose of studies... Everyone in the college started talking about us. You were indirectly getting into limelight while Perry's name was vanishing. All the students in the college would take our names together and nobody would recall Perry's name any more.

She was only jealous that I have let her go. "

He had a fight with Perry?

I was shocked beyond beliefs. Nope, I could not even listen to it properly as I was taken over by bewilderment badly.

Chloe has told me perry was obsessed with Alex, and she hated every girl who neared him. And I never believed her. I thought it was her true love, albeit if only I had known what she really had hidden behind her beautiful face.

She was only using Alex for popularity and fame, disgusting. May be she was envious that Alex was giving me his attention and his friends and others in the college were talking about us.

Perhaps, that was the reason why she barged inside my hostel room last night and called me with names!

At least that is what I was thinking unless Alex said, "It was just a healthy argument unless she dragged you in the conversation.

I was already feeling crazy and restless after your confession that without drinking I felt like I was drunk. So when Perry dragged you in our verbal fight, I just lost my control and warned her to stay away from me and my matters that were related to you.

And after the fight I gulped few shots and the last thing I remember was exiting the club. My eyes directly opened in Chloe's boyfriend's apartment in the morning and there she told me everything that happened between you and Perry.

Mayhap after our quarrel and my leave, she just landed at your hostel room and osmosed all my frustration on you. She knew you would not back answer her nor let me know anything about it, and she just poured all my anger on you. And you just left without waiting for me." he pouted.

I hesitantly decreased the gap between our faces and kissed him. I sensed him smiling in the kiss while his both the arms wrapped around my body tightly.

After we pulled away, he kissed my nose and confessed, "After my fight with Perry, I have decided to meet you in the morning at your hostel room with flowers and chocolates, but you.. You just left leaving me behind everything. You just left by giving up on me." he faked a cry face.

He was accusing me for giving up on him which was not true. If I had really given up on him then I had never confessed my feelings to him. It is just that I could not tolerate the pain of staying in a first side love.

" I never have up on you, I will never. I love you Alex. It was just that, I had not wanted you to love me without your will. I wanted you to love out of your heart. I just thought it was wiser to leave you alone before you felt any vulnerable." I said.

He placed me on the bed and sat straight. He rested his back on his pillow while his fingers found mine in my lap. From the look of his eyes, I can tell he was very tired. The exhaustion dripped from every smile he gave me.

" Oh Amara, I am scared of dating you!" my eyes just widened over his remark.

I possessively held him by the collar and asked, "Why?" fear started filling me.

After coming so close. And after confessing his feelings in such a bold way, I can't stand to let him go. Not that he really came here for me.

I never dated any guy before, simply because I was scared of relationships. I did not want to date someone who would hurt me.

But Alex.... Not only was he the guy whom I had a crush on but also the very first guy who came in my life. I just can't stand to see him going away after coming soo closer.

The anxiety filled my heart as I sat holding my breaths, my eyes have already watered. I was just waiting for his reply so that I could decide whether to cry out of heart break or happiness.

I sensed him wrapping his fingers around mine that were clasping his collars and joined our foreheads, "Obviously, because you are so delicate. And I am scared of hurting you. You are a blessing for me, Amara. I just... I just can't hurt you any more." he took a pause and added ahead, "What else have you assumed me saying that made you cry, hmm?" he caressed my wrist. However, as soon as those words burst out from his mouth, I jumped on his lap and hugged him with all the strength that I had while I let my tears ooze from my eyes... They were the tears of happiness.

Tbc..