Contract Marriage With My Ex — Chapter 18. I wanna go…

Raven’s point of view…

I was stunned. My breaths ceased as my eyes focused in the front. Was that true? Or was I just seeing things out of nowhere. I rubbed my eyes to check whether it was like the past time, my delusion. I was tired of the drive, my eyes were paining. May be I was just viewing this all like I did few hours ago for Billy.

“Yeah, and you know what he is just crazy. Mark my words he will keep Raven on the edge, he is one heck of a stubborn son. You can say replica of his father but cuter and more stubborn than him!” Girard was sitting on the bench in the first row with Kiara.

They were talking. I really can’t see whether the talk was firm or happening out of the heat of the moment but it was them only. “ He is really cute. Does he look the same in real? Just look at him he looks like a doll.” She said. Her voice was normal and playful.

It was different.  I could still sense hurt and heaviness. This was not new, I know this. I have experience of years. Whenever she would be sad and would want to make her mind drift away from something that has caused her problems, she would chime and smile amidst her tears. And the same, I could sense now.

I slowly walked in removing my shoes in the side. Their backs were facing me. They have not yet sensed another presence in there otherwise surely, they would have exited at once seeing my face. Why won’t they! I have caused so many problems. I had a fight with my brother who has been helping me with no rest. I hurt her who after forgetting everything decided to marry me.

Now I doubt it too as to why did she agree to be with me when the knew I am now a father of a two years old kid and a divorcee with bad memories of an unsuccessful marriage. She should have slapped me and shut the door on my face right then when I directly stood on her doorstep.

I did not call her too. It was like the other night I and Girard had a talk about … about Billy’s custody and how his whore grandparents (mom’s parents) were plotting against me to get him. And then after a night’s thinking Girard comes up with a mind blowing idea which he shares with us on the breakfast table and makes me remember about that girlfriend of mine who I left for a girl who was now the mother of my poor child and my ex wife. And the woman against which I wanted to use her too.

I felt pathetic but in the end I lose to my heart that was craving for his blood. His child. My fatherly emotions wanted to caress and feel the bond and relationship that I never got a chance to cherish in life. Two years passed in a blink just fighting and fighting with his mother and parents and now, that I failed to notice how big my son has grown. He can speak, throw tantrums, make a call by looking at the pictures in the phone and talk.

I was lost recalling all those wonderful times. My vision was blur with hot tears that I failed to see the bench in my front and bumped into it. I did not fall but it definitely made such noise that made the two sitting in front to look behind. At the sudden blow the tears were taken care by the gravity, and they fell down clearing my view.

I could see the awkwardness on their faces. My very gaze fell on her. She stared me for a second and turned her head to look at the altar in the front. It hit me through my heart. It was her ignorance! Anyway as I straightened myself with a deep sigh I concentrated on Girard’s damaged face.

There was blood dried up in the corner of his lips. A bump on his forehead and uncountable scratches on his face as well as neck. It made me look down on my feet in shame. I misunderstood him, raised my hands on him, yet he was sitting there with her who is more important to me than oxygen.

He was sitting with her obviously trying to explain everything. Despite of my bad behaviour he was there with her thinking only and only about me and my future. My future with Billy and her. I tried to divert my eyes somewhere else realizing that he too turned his gaze away from me clearly ignoring my presence.

The two of them sat silent while I continued to stand like a dumb fuck there with no idea what to do next. They did not seem to be interested at all in talking with me. I did such work that I was to be rewarded with such kind of behaviour from their part.

They must be waiting for me to make a move but who would tell them I did not have the courage to even match my eyes with them, let alone taking the initiative and talking about it. How can you assume a person who has done so many wrong things in life to make a move and talk! It was itself shameful to even consider that.

Regardless, again Girard took a step forward by whispering something in his ear. He gave her a side hug before getting up from his place and moved out of the exit ignoring me. He pretended as though I was not present there only.

A minute passed to Girard’s leave and I still stood unbudged from the spot. Even she neither did move nor did crane her neck in the back and see me. Again we were stuck in the dilemma of making first move. However, it was now my turn. She was not answerable to me, but I was to her.

It was my concern to clear up everything. Girard has done the half work, he has not only did find her but also helped me to take this opportunity and clear everything between. ‘Rave it is difficult but not impossible. She will whine but she will understand. Tell her everything, ask for her forgiveness, mend all the issues between you two and get freedom from this burden. ‘

I motivated myself while taking slow steps toward her. Her back erected sensing my slow moves moving toward her. The way she twitched her shoulder I knew she was uncomfortable for she knew she was going to be aware of some of the worst phase of my life and about Billy’s existence too.

“Uhh!” I sat next to her leaving some space between us. She curled her fingers into fists whilst digging them in between her thighs trying to control herself. She was one of those shy girls who found every moment nervousing.

“Kia—” Just as I opened my mouth to speak she immediately rose from her place trying to go away.

I quickly grabbed her wrist not letting her go. “I have my train in next few hours Raven let me go! 8 don’t want to be late.” My mind went numb listening her words.

She really wants to leave me!

No I will not let this happen not at least before telling her the entire truth!

Tbc..