Undercover: Book 3 — Chapter 57

"Hey, Eddie, I know it's been a while since I've last saw you and I just wanted to see how you're doing," I said smiling as I waited for a response.

Silence.

"I was looking through my pictures on my phone earlier and I came across a picture we took once when we were hanging out. It was a long time ago toward the beginning of the year, but one look at it made me cry like a baby for hours, yet at the same time smile for hours. You were sitting there with the biggest smile on your face and I was right next to you making some disgusted face at the camera and standing there in the back was the guy from Steak & Shake looking like he was in the middle of twerking,” I told him wiping the tear that threatened to fall.

Silence.

"I-I miss you.” My voice cracked as I stared at his gravestone.

"I hope you're happy up there because if not I'll make sure to come up there and kick someone's ass if needed,” I started again after a minute of calming myself down. "You know Caiden finally admitted he doesn't hate me. I know you always thought he would end up some alcoholic or he would die by the time he reached twenty-five, but I like to think if I keep trying to convince him he will go and finally get some help. You know I got some help, I can't say it's definitely working, but recently my therapist keeps telling me I'm improving and getting better.” I looked up as I felt a few drops of water on my face and then watched as it started to pour, water immediately soaking me. I embraced the feeling of the ice, cold water hitting me and finally let myself cry again.

I don't know how long I sat there talking to Eddie, but I knew it was time to go when it was pitch black with very few street lights on. I kissed my hand and touched the gravestone and gave a shaky smile. "See you soon," I whispered, before standing up and not even bothering to wipe my puffy eyes.

Pulling my black leather jacket closer to my body, I walked to my car. I unlocked it and took the twenty-minute drive back to school. I parked in my usual spot and slowly walked to the building with most of the dorms. Pausing at the doors, I looked back and the only school that was in walking distance from this one. I've been at this school for about four weeks now and final exams were coming up quickly, yet I was never in the mood to study. I wanted to go out, I wanted to live for the moment, and I wanted something, anything in my life to go right. I needed something that I know would stay.

I let out a deep breath and opened the doors, after sliding my card and went up to the main elevator, heading up to my dorm. I unlocked the door and walked in to see my roommate, Kayla sleeping peacefully. What surprised me was Caiden leaning against my headboard staring at me.

"What are you doing in here?" I hissed quietly, glancing at the open window that just so happened to have a huge tree next to it. Oh, the perks of having a dorm in the back of the building.

“I was worried,” he said and I scoffed, shaking my head.

"You know I do get tired of hearing those words from everyone. I'm not some fragile little girl who can't handle anything. I've been grieving, Caiden. It's something everyone has to do in life if they want to move on,” I said, quietly sitting on the side of my bed, so I was next to him.

"Yes, but sitting at the cemetery for most of the day without eating or drinking anything is unhealthy. I won't let you become this empty shell. You don't want to be some bitch who doesn't care about anyone or anything, Claire. You think you can live without friends or anyone around you, but it will only make everything worse,” Caiden said turning, so he was sitting next to me on the bed.

"You're such a hypocrite!" I whisper-yelled. "That's all you do and look at you now.”

"Exactly, look at me now. Everyone can barely put up with me, parents included. I'm not going anywhere in life at this rate,” he interrupted.

"Claire? What the hell is going on?" Kayla asked, turning on her light next to her bed. Her eyes widened when she caught sight of Caiden next to me. "Oh wow. I definitely didn't take you as the type to sneak guys into the dorm." When she sat up the blanket that was on her pooled around her legs, showing off her tight tank top and her boobs. Of course, it didn't bother her since she enjoyed showing off her boobs 24/7. She decided to remove the blanket from her long, tan legs and show off her underwear too.

"Kayla,” I hissed giving her a look and looking at her boobs then up again. She quickly understood what I was saying and only smirked.

"Chill Claire, you're the one who broke the rules here. I mean I'm just trying to peacefully sleep in my own dorm,” she said innocently and I narrowed my eyes at her before looking at Caiden only to see he was only looking at me.

"Acting like a slut won't get you anywhere besides a corner in New York City. So I'd highly advise it if you'd stop with the whole fake persona thing because it will only lead you to get kicked out of the school for trying to seduce the headmistress’s son,” Caiden said, his voice void of emotion and Kayla's eyes widened.

"You're her son?" she asked, trying to secretly pull the blanket up on her legs again. Which I had to admit was pretty funny.

Caiden didn't bother answering and only pulled me onto his lap, not caring that I was still soaking wet from the rain. "For future reference, I wouldn't suggest always seducing the first guy that you see because it can result in you looking desperate as well," I added and she glared at me. She quickly stood up, turning her back toward us and slipping on a pair of shorts and a hoodie. She slipped on a pair of moccasins as well before leaving the room.

"You always seem to get stuck with the best roommates, huh?" Caiden said with a half-smile and I let out a small laugh and nodded, leaning my head against his.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be such a bitch lately, but nothing is getting better. The pain I'm feeling isn't going away Caiden. It's been a month! It should be gone by now,” I said, more tears welling up in my eyes,” B-but it's not,” my voice cracked and he only grabbed my hands in his large ones and sighed.

"I can't tell you when it will get better, but I can tell you that the only way the pain will subside is if you stop pushing everyone away. You have to let people in your life, you have to focus on your future and who you are. Don't make my mistakes. You can't let one tragedy change everything,” Caiden said squeezing my hands and I smiled, pulling my head back a little to look at him.

Our eyes met for about five seconds before they closed as our lips connected. He held me tightly to him as we kissed, almost afraid to let one another go and I couldn't help but enjoy every minute of it.

Pulling away, I looked into his hazel eyes. "You're not a screw-up, Caiden. You're graduating this year from an Ivy League school with multiple degrees that most people wish they had. You can go far in life if you just try,” I told him and he didn't respond. He pulled me down on the bed next to him and we just laid there in silence. For how long? I wasn't sure, but I wasn't ready for it to ever end.