Undercover: Book 3 — Chapter 56

We lay on Caiden's bed watching The Vampire Diaries on Netflix. His face was nuzzled into my room neck and he was not paying attention to the screen at all. My back was against his chest with me sitting in between his legs. His usual cold exterior seemed to disappear into an affectionate exterior as he continued to let his nose nuzzle my neck. I watched as Elena and Damon kissed passionately making a small frown appear on my face. "Caiden, what are we?" I asked softly. I didn't want to ruin the moment since we'd had such a peaceful day and he'd been so nice, but I had to know. Earlier he made it sound like he wanted to be something.

He pulled away a little with a small frustrated sigh and said, “Claire, you know I don't do relationships. They are pointless. It's just a stupid shitty title.” My eyes narrowed at the screen and I pulled away a little turning to look at him.

"A shitty title?" I said, coldly and his blank. His cold facade was back, but I ignored it getting up off the bed.

He groaned, "Baby doll, where are you going?" He stood up, frowning. "I told you I was going to give you a nice day."

“Well since it's just a shitty title and we are technically not a couple I decided I'm in the mood to have sex,” I said simply. Caiden raised an eyebrow obviously not having a problem with what I said.

“Well then baby doll, I'm all yours,” he told me wrapping his arms around my waist and I shook my head pulling away. He's been all touchy feely all day and it was strange, but I didn't mind it till now.

He lives for sex.

Okay that's true; maybe, it wasn't that strange after all.

"Nah I'm good it would be awkward you know,” I said and he shook his head.

"Everything will be the same."

"Oh you mean we can just make out whenever and not have that shitty title.” I crossed my arms over my chest and he nodded.

“You know I care about you, baby doll. That's why I was at your side at the hospital.” I scowled.

"There's a difference between caring for me as a friend and caring for me so much that you're able to see galaxies in my eyes."

“I thought you wanted to have sex?" he said, confused, ignoring my last statement making me narrow my eyes.

“No, not with you." The glare he gave me was as dark as the ones I would receive when I was Jason.

"Then with who?"

Think of someone who will make him mad.

“Jax,” I said smirking when he clenched his fists.

“That is the last thing you're going to do,” he growled out between clenched teeth.

"But we don't have one of those shitty titles so i'm a free woman,” I said grabbing my keys.

“How many times are you going to use my own words against me?" He said running his hands down his face. I opened the door to his room and he grabbed my wrist.

“If you have sex with him I won't forgive you,” he told me his eyes staring intensely into mine. I pulled my wrist out of his hand rolling my eyes.

“How old are you five?"

“Why are you still here? Just go fuck him already. But don't expect me to be here waiting for you to get back,” he hissed and I shrugged.

"Oh trust me I won't be waiting for you! In reality I never have to see you again.” I was almost positive anyone in the building could sense the sexual tension in this room.

“I'm sure you would just replace me with someone like the Wesley guy!" he yelled at me and I rolled my eyes.

"So you're really back to calling me a whore?" I wasn't even surprised. In an argument he would always go for the words that hurt the most.

Doesn't everyone though?

“Just leave Claire,” he finally said.

I looked at him straight in those beautiful eyes and just shook my head turning toward the door.

Conceited, selfish, arrogant, ass

I understand that he doesn't do relationships, but if he doesn't do them then I refuse to sit here and allow him to treat me like this. These strange feelings I feel with him will not change that.

But he doesn't treat you like a slut.

Either way he needed to learn. I stopped with my hand on the door handle.

"I get that your past was rough. It was tragic and painful and I understand if it haunts you, but treating all of the females in the world like they're nothing isn't going to fix what happened."

"There's nothing that can be fixed. You don't fucking realize it Claire! I will never see a woman as my equal,” he told me turning me around and holding my arms.

He dropped them, but kept his body in front of me. "The world today is disgusting. If I were to see a woman as my equal and we grew old together and got married, had kids, I would be ashamed to tell them the society I lived in. I lived in a world where they don't care. When I went to the cops they investigated because it was their job not because they care. You know they wanted to try to charge me with murder. I was kidnapped for years and yet they wanted me to still suffer. “His hands were clenched into fists as he talked. He backed away from me shaking his head. He sat on the edge of the bed his elbows on his knees, and his head on his palms.

"I don't want to be happy. I don't deserve to be. You think the world is this great, beautiful place, but it's not. You need to open your eyes and stop living in your dreams,” he told me, looking me dead in the eyes. I knew there was a frown of my face, but I didn't realize there was a tear streaming down my face till he walked over and wiped it.

"I'm sorry,” I mumbled, wrapping my arms around him. I wish I could explain our relationship, but I really can't. One second we're cuddling next, we're yelling then, we're hugging. I can't explain something so complicated. You either understand it or you don't.

It's kind of funny actually, because I've always been that girl that always has something to say. I'm sassy, sarcastic, over confident, good hearted and a complete bitch. Caiden made me someone different though. He brought out a side of me I never knew existed. A more sensitive, sweeter side of me.

"Caiden you're allowed to be happy. It's time you get help and move on from your past so it becomes nothing more than your past,” I said and he stepped back and dropped his arms.

"I got help after what happened. It's helping me slowly, but surely,” I said honestly.

"I didn't know it affected you that bad,” he said softly. Replacing the cold look with a surprised one.

"All I ask is you try,” I said and he hesitated.

"I'll try, but not for me or anyone else. Only for you Claire,” he told me looking me in my eyes before placing his lips on mine. This was the second time we kissed and I loved the feeling.

He pulled me close to his body and I entangled my hands in his now brown hair as he moved his right hand to cup my cheek. I don't know how long we were kissing before the door burst open cause you know it's impossible to kiss in peace.

"Claire?" Nick said, making me try to move away from Caiden, but he kept his arm firmly on my waist. It was in almost a possessive way and screamed she's mine.

"Hey,” I said, waving awkwardly.

"What are you two doing together?” he asked us, glancing at Caiden’s arm.

"What the fuck do you want?" Caiden demanded with a scowl.

"I wanted to see if you were coming to the courts, but I see you're busy,” he said his voice almost monotone.

"Yeah, I am."

"I didn't know you two were an item?" he questioned and Caiden stiffened.

"We're not, she's just mine,” he said and ,I looked at him in surprise.

"So you two are dating then?" Nick asked slowly, obviously confused.

"No, you know I don't do relationships. She's just mine."

"She's not an object,” Nick said frowning.

"She is standing right here,” I said narrowing my eyes.

"She's not an object,” Caiden agreed. “She’s just my everything right now."

"Claire Martez is the only one that's keeping me sane." The words that left his lips left me dazed and confused. I looked at him waiting for him to laugh or something, but he never did.