Undercover: Book 3 — Chapter 53

I jumped in surprised when I heard a knock on the door. Sniffling, I tried to wipe all my tears off my face.

"Yeah?" I called out not moving from my spot on my floor.

"Claire, honey Nathan stopped by. He dropped this off. He thought you may want to have it,” my mom said and a piece of paper slid under the door. I didn't respond and simply crawled over grabbing the folded piece of paper. I was grateful that my family was giving me time by myself to grieve.

The first thing I read had me choking on my tears.

To my lovely best friend, Claire.

I knew immediately it was Eddie’s handwriting. This was the note he was going to leave me. I gasped for breath. I could do this, I told myself.

Dear Claire,

I'm sorry. Yes, I lied to you. I was never getting help from anyone. I can't go around and act like everything's okay. My parents still hate me just like my friends. You were all I had. Nothing was getting better. But, it's pretty funny if you think about it. I mean you would think that's all I would need is a lovely great best friend who pretends she's a guy. (Yes, Claire that was meant to make you smile) I wish my heart would accept that. I really do, but for some reason it doesn't. It begs for forgiveness from my parents. It begs for forgiveness from my friends. It begs for a day that allows people to see being gay is not a disease. Every day I would wish that I wasn't born with such a curse because of how I was treated. I know if I was there with you right now you would scold me. As I'm writing this, I could picture you shaking your head and placing your hand on mine telling me that I'll get through this, telling me that you're here for me no matter what and there is nothing wrong with being gay. I know you would show me that gorgeous smile that you have and just tell me all the great things life will have in store for me. This is why I apologize to you, Claire. I tried so hard to stay with you but the bullying was the final straw. I broke, I felt myself dying inside each day. Once a tree falls it can't get back up. I do hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me for this. Please do tell my parents that I will always love them and I will always be with them. Claire, please remember that I will always be with you too. I will watch you grow and be successful and I will watch you bring happiness into others’ lives as you did to mine. Not once did I ever regret meeting you on that basketball court all those months ago. I will leave tonight with my heart being forever in your debt. Thank you, Claire for all you've done.

Sincerely, Edward (Eddie) Sterling

I tried to wipe the tears from my eyes, but they wouldn't stop. No words could describe the agonizing pain my heart felt as it clenched and screamed and cried for Eddie all at once. For once I couldn't be strong. I folded the letter up and curled myself in a ball on my floor and cried my heart out.