Undercover: Book 3 — Chapter 52

I walked up the stairs slowly. I'd never been up here before so it was a foreign area. I was relieved to reach a door that said roof on it. This stairway was dark as hell.

"Eddie?" I said, looking confused. When I noticed someone standing there. I could barely make out the figure.

"Claire you're not supposed to be here yet," Eddie said, his voice shaky.

"What do you mean? You wanted to meet at eight?" I said, confused.

"Yeah and it's not eight yet. Dammit Claire. You shouldn't be here! I was making it easier on you! I was going to leave one simple note!" he said stepping back.

"Eddie careful! Remember we're on a roof. Now what are you talking about? You're scaring me. Why don't we go see your therapist?" I suggested, taking a few steps closer.

"See you don't fucking understand Claire. No one will ever understand. I can't go on. This is why you weren't supposed to come up here early. I never wanted you to see me like this," Eddie yelled at me, tears sliding down his cheeks. His whole body was shaking and his teeth were chattering. I was surprised at the use of the curse word and paused for a minute. It seemed as though every time I took a step forward he took one back. My heart was beating so fast I didn't know what to do. The side of my mind knew what he was thinking and I had to help him. I had to. “Thank you Claire for everything. The last few months have been the best months of my life."

"Eddie don't do this,” I whispered, keeping my voice soft. He took one glance off of the roof and shook his head. He was now standing on the edge. He took a note out of his pocket and threw it toward me. I didn't even take the risk of moving forward to grab it.

"Eddie please,” my voice cracked, but it didn't stop me. "You are so young. You have a long life ahead of you. You don't want to give it all up now. Please Eddie, if you can't find it in yourself to step down from that ledge for me then step down for yourself. Please."

"I'm sorry, I have to Claire. I have to.” I didn't know those would be the last words I would ever hear from Eddie Sterling.

Time seemed to slow down in the next moment as I ran as fast as I could trying to get to him. But I never expected to watch a knife slide across his throat faster than a blink of an eye right in front of me. His body fell backwards off the building, but my arm stayed frozen in the air even after I heard the sound of his body landing on the concrete below.

I expected my best friend to get through this. I expected him to live a long happy life. I never expected him to commit suicide right in front of my eyes.

Ear piercing screams were filling the air and it only took the feeling of someone shaking my body to realize they were my own.

"Claire?" The screams didn't stop as my knees hit the floor of the rooftop. "Claire!" Drops of water fell from my eyes and slid down my face nonstop. "Claire! What's wrong?" The feeling of someone's arms wrapping around me started to disappear as my body became cold and numb. "Claire!” My name that I heard from someone's lips faded into silence as my eyes closed on their own accord and I slipped into unconsciousness.

***

My eyes struggled to open due to the feeling of the light shining down on my eyelids. I blinked a few times before my eyes opened completely. I knew I was in a hospital almost right away when I caught sight of the white ceilings and walls. The smell of soap and bleach was strong making me scrunch my nose up.

I grimaced when I noticed the needle that was poking my arm. Leaning over I pressed the nurse button on the remote next to me. Why was I in a hospital? I'm not in any pain.

For once my conscious didn't respond. My eyes snapped to the door and I was surprised to see Caiden standing there. He looked at me wearily and hesitantly walked toward me.

"How are you?" he asked me, taking a seat in the chair next to the bed.

"I'm fine. Why am I here?" I asked him, sitting up.

"Claire, try to remember what happened before you passed out,” he told me and my eyebrows furrowed, trying to remember.

"I remember meeting Eddie at our usual spot. He told me he had something important to tell me, but then he started crying as soon as I showed up. He started thanking me for everything and then he started talking about things that didn't make sense,” I told him and Caiden grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"He told me I didn't understand and he had to before he - before he -" I broke out in tears and started hyperventilating. No, that had to of been a dream. I couldn't have lost my best friend.

"I'm sorry Claire,” Caiden said, his eyes held pity and I shook my head.

"Why? Just why?" I couldn't breathe as I choked the words out between sobs. I was gasping for breath. I watched my best friend take his own life. The vision played over and over again in my mind, he slit his throat and his body fell backwards off the building. I couldn't save him.

"Baby doll you need to breathe. You're still in shock. You've already been out for a few days. You're lucky your friend was there to find you when it all happened,” he told me and I tried to listen to him. Caiden let me pull his body toward me and I wrapped my arms around him.

The comfort helped me calm down enough to breathe. "I'm okay,” I whispered, my voice hoarse. Caiden pulled away at the sound of someone knocking before walking in.

"Claire, I'm glad to see you're up. I'm a doctor, Cliff. I'm just going to check a few things and you can be released whenever you're ready," the doctor told me and I nodded.

"If you need someone to talk to about what happened just call a friend of mine, Dr. Jerris and make an appointment. He can help you.” He handed me a card and I thanked him.

It didn't take long for him to release me and for me to sign the papers. I was soon dressed and on my way back to my house in no time. Apparently both schools are giving everyone a few days off since it happened there and there were other people who were in the parking lot that witnessed what happened.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Caiden asked me quietly when we arrived and I shook my head.

"No, I need to be alone,” I said after a moment. He seemed hesitant to just let me leave but he nodded.

"Call me if you need to talk,” he said and I nodded stepping out of the car. When I opened the door to my house I didn't look at anyone and only went straight to my room.

As soon as I was safe in my own confines I broke down. I don't know how long I sat there or laid there crying it could have been hours or even days. It didn't feel real. It should, since I watched the whole thing, but it doesn't.

I watched it all happened from beginning to end. I fucking knew he was depressed and yet for some reason I believed him when he said he was getting help. He showed every single sign and I simply brushed it off like the idiot I am. As of right now I knew for sure of one thing.

I would never forgive myself for letting this happen. His blood would forever be on my hands.