Careless and Reckless — Chapter 47

It's pretty dark out by the time I reach River's house but it doesn't bother me. I walk up to his door with calm and confident strides, psyching myself up as I do.

I roll my shoulders a few times before knocking loudly and taking in his house once more. It's a reasonable size with clean, exposed brickwork and a dark stone tiled roof. The windows are spotless as they gleam in the moonlight, even the doorknob is sparkling — I remember River telling me that his family like to keep things clean and it also helps that this house is quite new, considering it's one of those new, modern builds that happens every so often.

After a few minutes the door is finally opened by a someone with a tall, built frame, dark, messy hair and even darker smouldering eyes, Levi — River's older brother. He has a cigarette sandwiched between his index and middle finger, the lit end giving his charcoal eyes a menacing glow.

I can feel my fingers quiver at the sight of it, wanting to snatch it out of his grasp for myself. I don't but it's very difficult.

His lips twitch into a sinister smirk as he looks at me, leaning against the tall doorframe, sending an involuntary shiver down my spine. I've only met him twice before but Levi has given me the creeps since I first laid eyes on him. Yes, he's ridiculously handsome but something about him makes my stomach twist and clench.

"To what do I owe the pleaser, Ari?" Levi drawls out, his eyes staring through my very being.

Although this guy makes me uncomfortable to an immeasurable extent, I refuse to be intimidated by him. If I can't get past him there's no way I'll have the courage to end things with River for good.

"Just wanted to see River," I state casually as I walk inside, my face impassive. There's a certain way to act around people like Levi and I think I've gotten the hang of it over the last few months. River took me to some pretty shady places so I had to learn to adapt pretty quick.

"Last I heard you two were fighting," he comments, puffing out a ring of smoke. I rub my thumb and index finger together behind my back in anticipation of grabbing a cigarette from the packet I spy on the counter. Levi sees me eyeing it and sighs before offering me one which I gladly accept.

They calm me down and I'm nervous beyond belief at the moment so I could really do with it. "When aren't we fighting," I reply with a shrug, taking a drag from the cigarette, my whole body relaxing in contentment.

Levi lets out a throaty chuckle as he begins to walk into another room. "He's in his room, good luck," he calls over his shoulder as he kicks the door shut behind him.

I finish my smoke and grab a piece of gum before going up to see River, using the time to ready myself for the argument ahead. Deep breaths, Ari. In and out. Breathe in and out.

I knock softly on his door and wait until I hear him say to come in before I do. I peep through the door and spy him sitting at his desk, typing away on his computer and hesitantly open the door the rest of the way, stepping fully inside and shutting the door behind me for privacy.

I've never met River's parents — he says they both work late all the time so I doubt they're home — but I don't want Levi to hear this either. "Hey," I say in a confident voice. I know if I start off sheepish I won't do it. I have to be confident or he will say something and I know I won't go through with this.

"Aurora?" River asks in a startled tone when he hears my voice, turning away from his computer and giving me his full attention. "To what do I owe the pleaser, babe?"

I shrug nonchalantly as I stride across his room and sit down on his bed, my eyes never leaving his. "Just wanted to talk is all."

River swivels around in his desk chair so he's facing me, a smirk on his face. "Shoot," he tells me, eyeing me up and down.

Should I be blunt or beat around the bush? I guess it's always better to be honest and upfront but I should still ease my way into the conversation so I'm not just springing it on him out of nowhere.

"Well how are you feeling? I know you hit your head pretty hard at that party last night," I say, making sure not reveal too much in case he can't remember. He doesn't need to know Wyatt punched him and have another reason to hate him.

He runs his hand down his exposed left arm as he replies. "Oh right. I'm fine now, thanks for the concern babe," he smirks with a wink, getting up from his chair. "But I can't remember much, I knocked my head pretty hard. I remember us going upstairs together but everything else is a blur. Next thing I know, I'm waking up tucked in all cosy into a random lad's bed."

Good. He doesn't remember but does that mean he doesn't remember our argument either?

"Ah alright. Well you banged your head on the bed frame when we were talking, probably because you were mad from the argument we were having," I tell him, not a total lie because he did hit his head. "And, well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

He sighs, running his hands through his hair as he moves to lean against his bedroom wall, facing me with a lax look on his face and his arms crossed. "Alright, what were we arguing about?" River asks with a look of disinterest plastered on his face yet he still gives me his full attention.

"About us."

He raises an amused eyebrow. "I'm going to need a little more than that, babe."

I can feel my nerves rising but I pay them no attention as I look River directly in the eyes. I have to stay strong. "Us just not working together anymore," I start, pausing to think of how to phrase my next sentence. "I think it's time we end things once and for all, River."

I hear his sharp intake of breath as he scrunches his eyes together for a few seconds. It looks like he's murmuring something to himself — counting to ten maybe.

When he opens his eyes they're filled with hurt and sorrow, making my heart clench.

Nope. I can't give into this. Wyatt told me he's a good actor and manipulator — I can't trust him, I just can't.

"What's brought on the sudden change of heart, baby girl?"

I can feel my palms beginning to sweat as I clench the black bedsheets beneath my fingers so harshly that my knuckles turn whiter than paper.

Hoping he doesn't notice my unease, I shrug, my face impassive, showing no emotion. "It's been a long time coming, River. You know as well as I do that we're not good for each other. We can't let this continue for both our sakes," I say in a composed voice despite the anxiousness I feel.

I notice his hands balling into fists and the tightening of his strong jaw as he tries to calm himself, thinking of how to respond. "Baby, this is stupid," he starts, his voice sounds raw and full of genuine emotion but I know I can't trust that that's true. "We're perfect for each other. Who fed you these crazy ideas and why would you listen to them over me?"

Keeping my face void of emotion, I reply, knowing I have to keep Wyatt out of this. This was my mistake. My fuckup. I have to fight my own battles. Wyatt doesn't need to get involved. "No one, River. I can think for myself. It's clear that we're not right for one another, anyone could see that."

He pushes himself off from the wall and moves until he's right in front of me and kneels down so our eyes our level (since I'm sitting down), cupping my cheeks in his large hands. I want to lean into him but I refrain, knowing that he's not the right guy to take comfort in.

He looks deeply into my eyes as he readies himself to speak, his molten brown eyes melting in the yellow lights, looking warm and sweet like honey. "Aurora, please, listen to yourself. Don't do this, baby. Don't pull the plug on us. Don't say you don't care anymore because my heart beats for you and only you," he tells me in a soft voice, reaching for my hand and placing it over his heart — it's thumping at an erratic pace, showing me his desperation.

Taking deep breaths, I pull my hand away but it's shaking and it's obvious that his words effected me deeply. "River, I'm sorry but I just can't do this anymore," I say, trying to sound confident but there's a slight crack to my voice at the end and that's when I know I've fucked up.

He knows he affects me and he'll use it to his advantage. I just care too damn much.

"Yes you can, baby doll. We need each other, can't you see that?"

I shake my head as I force back the tears that are threatening to escape, instead letting out a humourless laugh. I can't get sucked in, not again. "No, River, that's where you're wrong. We need to stay away from each other."

The frown on his face is genuine as he asks his next question so quietly I almost don't catch it. "Why?"

I can feel my stomach flip as I think back to when James broke up with me and I asked the exact same thing — so weak and dejected.

Should I tell him? The truth crushed me but he has the right to know and not be kept in the dark. "River," I sigh. "I know about you being involved with Harper and Belle."

I can feel him tense slightly at the name but he brushes it off all too quickly. "What's it to you? Harper is an ex girlfriend, nothing more and I'm not sure why you're bringing her friend into this."

"Because Belle was my sister."

He lets out a breath of surprise, his eyes widening as he scans over my face in recognition. "I knew there was something familiar about you," he says in understanding. "But what does any of this have to do with us?"

I rake my fingers through my hair as I reply. "River, you're the reason they stopped being friends. You manipulated Harper into listening to you over Belle. You were a lying bastard and I know you've been manipulating me too and I can't let that happen anymore."

He scoffs. "What happened between those two wasn't my fault, friends fall apart all the time. I was merely a bystander, dating one if the involved parties. And I'd never manipulate you, Aurora, because, well, I think I love you," he says in a soft tone but I can't believe it.

There's no way. It's only been a few months. He's lying but would he really go this far to get his way?

I shake my head in disbelief, standing up to move further away from him. "Don't do this, River. Don't try and fuck up my head. Not anymore. I know that you've been manipulating me. It may have not been intentional but using my emotions to your advantage so I do as you please is wrong and I can't stay with someone like that," I say firmly, slight anger starting to show in my words.

"Wyatt got to you didn't he? He put these ludicrous thoughts in your head. The bastard," he grits out, anger clear in his tone as he takes a forceful step towards me.

"Don't talk about Wyatt like that," I spit, my emotions flipping. "This is between you and me."

He barks a humourless laugh. "It never was just me and you was it, Aurora? That's why we won't work. You care about him too much."

"That's not true."

"But it is. If it weren't for him we'd be happy together and you wouldn't want to throw away everything that we have."

I can feel my eyes blazing with anger. "We don't have anything," I growl. "You lied to me. You tricked me. And you're the one who started this cycle of unfaithfulness by sleeping with Ava."

It shatters me to think of my best friend doing that but now isn't the time to get upset so I push my feelings aside and glare at River, channeling all my anger towards him.

"Back to this again? I didn't know she was your best mate — she must be a pretty crappy one to do that though."

I force back a scream as I stare at him in utter disbelief. "That's what you took from that? Let's forget the fact that she was my best friend. You still slept with someone else the night after you asked me to be your girlfriend. No guy who loved me would do that," I spit with venom lacing each word, throwing his previous statement back at him.

"I'm sorry, I fucked up but you weren't exactly innocent either. You were a right slut sleeping with all those guys behind my back," he growls and I can feel my face going red.

It takes everything within me not to slap him. Violence isn't the answer I keep reminding myself although I'm very close to ignoring my conscience. "Slut shaming — that's what you're reducing yourself to? I was hurt after what you did, River, and coping with it best as I could because I cared about you," I all but shout at him. "But don't you dare try and act innocent. You were doing the exact same thing, don't play the victim. What I did was wrong but you started it. Don't try to pin the blame on me," my tone is low and full of warning.

He's about to respond but I cut him off by raising my hand and shaking my head. "Save it, River. We're over."

Before he has the chance to respond and I do something I'll regret, I storm out of his room and slam the door behind me. I rush out of his house and to Wyatt's motorcycle, putting on my helmet and getting out of there as fast as humanly possible, my mind burning in anger and my head throbbing in fury.

When I get to a red light I quickly dial Max's number.

"Ari?" Max asks after a few rings, sounding breathless.

"Hey, Maxi," I say, revving the engine as the light turns green.

"How many times—" he cuts himself off mid sentence. "Wait, are you on that death trap right now, as you're calling me?" Max shouts over the phone but I pay no attention to his worry.

"Yeah but don't stress about that. I did it. I broke up with him."

He sighs. "That's great, Ari, how you feeling?"

"Honestly? Furious. That bastard has another thing coming with the way he spoke to me. I swe—" I'm cut off by the sound of a loud horn, cursing I try to swerve out of the way but it's too late.

The lorry gets closer and closer until it's all I can see. My eyes go wide as saucers as I let out a blood curdling scream, my life flashing before my eyes.

My phone clatters to the floor at the same time I do, the world around me going black.

The cold, wet road scratching my skin is the last thing I notice until I can't feel anything. My breathing slows as I let out one final breath before everything finally disappears and I'm shrouded in darkness.