Careless and Reckless — Chapter 38

After getting ready for my date I call Jess to ask her for a lift. I don't really want to drive if I can avoid it and I remembered her saying that she was going to a club near there anyway so it, hopefully, wouldn't be a problem.

I did have to tell her about my date which she was slightly shocked about but she agreed nonetheless and at around twenty to seven I heard her car horn from outside and bid farewell to mum and the twins.

"Hey," I say as I slip into her silver Volkswagen and put on my seatbelt.

"Hey to you girl. Ready for your date?" Jess asks, starting her car and pulling out of my driveway.

I'm actually really excited. There's something about River that intrigues me but at the same time I'm nervous to be putting myself out there. It's only been a few months since James and I broke up and I don't think I'm ready to move on.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

~*~*~

Within moments of us arriving, Jess had already disappeared from view, claiming that she was late, for what I'm not sure but you never really know with her.

I take calming breaths as I walk into the ice cream parlour, preparing myself for the evening ahead.

It's just a date, Ari, you'll be fine. Don't stress and don't overthink.

Once I step inside, my eyes scan the quaint area, searching for River. It takes mere seconds before I spot him sitting in the corner, his eyes on his phone as he seems to be messaging some.

My heeled thigh high boots make a slight noise as I walk across the tiled floor towards him. He must hear me coming as he slides his phone into his left pocket and greets me as I sit down opposite him.

"Hey Aurora, you look stunning," he compliments smoothly, his eyes having given my body a quick once over before I sat down.

I smile in return, refusing to blush and instead compliment him back. "Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself," I say with a wink to which he smirks.

Our conversation continues in a light and cheerful manner and, surprisingly, there have been no awkward pauses. As the night progresses, it starts to become more flirty and let's just say River has a rather big flirty side but I haven't decided whether or not that's a good thing yet.

"So Aurora," he starts, eyes bright with mischief as he leans across the table to hold my left hand which is resting contently on the wooden surface. "Do you want to play a game of dares?"

"Depends what you had in mind," I tell him, feigning innocence at the request.

The pad of his thumb begins to trace circles on my hand as he looks up into my eyes. "I dare you to kiss me."

My words are momentarily caught in my throat as I take in his words but I recover quickly and smoothly. "So soon? There's no need to rush such things."

I made my reply polite and sweet but in truth it's because I don't think River and I have that spark. I don't know why but it just doesn't feel the way it should so I'm not going to lead him on with a kiss that would mean nothing. I carefully slide my left hand into my lap, causing his hand to fall limp on the table, no longer in contact with my own.

He's definitely an attractive boy and I'm sure any girl would be lucky to have him but I'm not that girl — it just doesn't feel right.

He doesn't seem to take the hint as his other hand finds my knee under the table and rests itself there, stroking my exposed skin every once in a while.

"How can it be rushing things if I think I've found the right girl?"

His words got to me a bit and I almost felt kind of bad for not reciprocating his feelings but then his fingers started to move ever so slightly up my skin and I was jolted out of my trance. Going off what he's doing I'm sure he's done this many times before and I'm surely no different.

Taking a deep breath to calm my thoughts, I look up to meet his eyes. They look so sincere, maybe he is being honest. Either way, this isn't something I want but I need to let him off gently and kindly. "You hardly know me," I reason. "There's no way you could think that."

He lets out a sigh. His molten brown eyes bore into my own as he replies. "Do you believe in fate?"

"I've never really given it much thought," I tell him honestly.

"Well I do and, Aurora, I think there's a reason I met you and want the chance to explore it."

"I'm sorry, River, but I don't think we have that connection. What you're saying seems so lovely but — well — I — I —" I trail off, not sure how to finish my sentence. How can I say anything without sounding like a complete bitch? He's being lovely and I must come off as a rude, arrogant arsehole.

Maybe I should just give it another go. He's so charming and if he feels this strongly I could just be wrong.

He runs his fingers through his hair as he looks at me in confusion and sadness.

Urgh, I really do seem like a bitch.

"So you won't even give us a chance?" River asks in a quiet whisper, making my insides twist in guilt.

Is it wrong of me to not like him back? Surely not but then again...

"I... I..." I stutter, still unable to fathom a reply.

"I get it, Aurora," he sighs in defeat. "You don't want to try something new or step out of your comfort zone and I know this because if I were in your situation I'd give it a go. I wouldn't knock anything until I'd tried it."

"River, it's not like that," I tell him desperately, wanting him to understand.

"It's not like I'm asking you to be my girlfriend or anything. I just want us to hang out a few more times to see if there's something there. It's too early to be shutting us down completely."

He's right. It's wrong of me to be so definitive so early.

"Well, where do you have in mind," I sigh out.

His gorgeous smile returns to his face at my words, making the guilt vanish from my stomach. "Well, my friend is throwing a party tomorrow night."

"Um, I don't think that's the best idea, River." I'm really not in the mood to get drunk again.

"Oh come on. I thought this might be better because it's a less intimate setting. It's nowhere near as intense as just two people sitting together alone. Parties are fun and relaxing. I think it'll help loosen us both up," he explains.

I look at him hesitantly. "Parties aren't really my thing."

"I'll be there for you every step of the way," he tells me with an earnest look in his eyes which succeeds in giving me minor comfort.

He seems so sure and confident. It'll probably be fine but there's a voice in the back of my head that's telling me that this'll be a bad idea. I want to listen to it but at the same time I want to step out of my comfort zone and maybe River can help me do that. Maybe he can help me where Wyatt couldn't.

Wyatt. By spending time with River I feel like I'm severing my ties with him and that makes the knots in my stomach tighten in discomfort. But Wyatt can't hold me back. That's not right either.

I care about Wyatt — a lot — but I don't see why I can't spend time with River as well. Until he or River gives me a definitive reason to not to spend time with River I'm going to. He seems so lovely and charming and just maybe he's right. Maybe there is a future for us and maybe it's fate.

I might not feel the connection yet but that can build over time. For now, I think I'm going to go with the flow and just trust him and see where that takes me.

I hope I'm making the right choice but who cares if I'm not. I'm human after all.

But I hope I'm right in trusting River and I hope this doesn't all come and bite me in the arse later.

"Alright, let's do it," I say in my most confident voice. This is the right decision.

He grins at me as he takes my hand in his. "There's my bad girl. I hope you're ready for one wild ride."

I gulp but smile excitedly in return. This is exactly what I need: adventure and fun.

This is the right decision.