Through Your Eyes — Chapter 14

There were a few seconds of silence before he spoke again. "Come on, Red. What do you mean by that?"

It took me a while before I replied. I didn't want to hear him ranting at me anymore. I then heard sounds of opening and closing of doors,  and pulling and pushing of drawers.

"Red, what do you mean by these empty closets and drawers? I don't see white coats here anymore."

"Just when did you learn to check my things, Eric? Just when did you take your eyes off other women for you to see my missing things?"

"Red, you're exaggerating things-"

"Am I? When you seduce every beautiful woman, including my best friend?"

"Come home! Let's talk about this."

"My home is somewhere else already, Eric. And I am not sorry. Whatever was there between us, it's over. I have a list of all my expenses, including my tuition, and all those fancy things you give me. Just give me time, and I will return every penny you spent for me-- with interest."

"Red-"

"Yes. You don't need me as I am. Don't you remember your constant reminder that you can throw me out of your life anytime you want? Well, I'm making it easier for you. I left a few days ago already. I am even surprised that you discover it earlier than I expect."

I heard him slamming a table and some noise after that. I could see him in my mind, swiping a table and kicking a chair in anger. I knew him very well when he got angry; he always smashed or threw anything his hand could grasp. Yet, he never went to the extent of lifting a hand against me. There were those times when he grabbed and pulled me in anger, but he never used some force, like slapping, to hurt me. However, humiliating words are more painful than those wounds a scourge can inflict. It leaves scars in the mind that no balm can ever remove.

Sean was already standing by the partition wall when I looked up. I could tell through his soft gaze that he heard a lot of what I said. He slowly walked towards me, keeping my eyes in his gaze. My tears ran faster when I felt his sympathy in that expression, making me throw myself right away into his arms.

Placing my head in his chest after he led me to a couch, I poured out my humiliation and pain through a loud and bitter cry. I couldn't tell how long did I weep. I just couldn't flush all those bitterness I harbored for five long years through a single gush of tears.

Just when I calmed down, finally, my phone vibrated again. I threw Sean a glance, and he nodded. I hesitated for a moment, but Sean's tender gaze at me was his cue that I should listen to what Eric wanted to say.

"Eric."

"Let's talk. Please."

"I'm at work."

"Then tell me where you are and I'll come."

"Non-workers are not allowed."

"Then tell me I am your-"

"Sex partner? Paid roommate? What?"

"My goodness, Red. Tell them I am your husband. We're together for five years already and we made love almost every day. What difference does that piece of marriage certificate make?"

"It matters to me, Eric. You know why? Because it is a vow of lifetime commitment, of belongingness, of emotional security."

"Then let's talk about it."

"You're already late, I'm sorry."

"Red, this is unfair!" He was already shouting.

"Eric, I have already warned you, that I can also get tired of your insults and threats. And I have also told you that when I give up, there's no more turning back." I also shouted back.

I heard him sigh, and a few seconds of silence followed. When he spoke again, his voice was already soft.

"Red, don't I deserve a formal breakup if that's what you want?"

I looked at Sean, and he nodded again. Eric was right. He took me out from despair when I felt the world turning its back on me. It's only fair that we should have a proper talk, now that I decided to end it up.

"Okay. I'll be there."

"Tell me where you are and I'll pick you up."

"No need."

Sean offered to drop me at Eric's place, but I refused. I didn't want Eric to think that I had this courage because I was already seeing another man. I booked a Grab car, and in a few minutes, I was already at the door of the house I used to call home for five years. I slowly turned on the knob. Part of me was afraid that Eric would hurt me physically, and the other part of me was ready to accept whatever may happen.

Eric was already standing in the living room; one hand was leaning on the upper backrest of the couch. He was on a sleeping robe. Probably, he just woke up when he called. I stopped when I met his eyes. I got scared of that sharp and dark gaze, it burrowed deep into my soul. He then walked slowly to me. And when he was already a few inches away from me, he placed both his hands at the door, trapping me in between.

Maybe because I have already prepared my mind for this, I managed to stay calm. My heartbeats no longer hammered against my chest, as I waited for his tongue to lash me out with stinging words. However, he did not say a word. He bent his head down instead and took my lips in a hot and fiery kiss. I did not resist, but I remained standing like a statue--devoid of any emotion. His mouth moved to my neck, then down to my sternal path. I surprised myself for not reacting to his touch, even when his hands slid under my bodice, cupping and squeezing my two, soft peaks.

Sensing my blunt reaction, he looked into my eyes, which I returned without a blink. I saw the change of his expression, which I believed was one of hurt and defeat. Suddenly, he pulled me close to him and enclosed me in a tight embrace. What came next was something I did not expect. He broke into a sob.