Forrest — Chapter 39 Screwed Up

FORREST

Goddamn it!

I WANTED to punch Davis for not being able to do his only job. And so did as Bill, but I could handle Bill later.

“For an uncomplicated and simple order, you did a bang-up job!” My chest was heaving with anger the moment I saw his guilty-ass face. I hired him because he was recommended by Alan, and he could be trusted, but then he failed me.

“I couldn’t force her, Mr. Wood. You warned me not to touch or lay a hand on her. And I would be arrested for kidnapping if I forced her to come with me.”

“I don’t give a bloody fuck about your reasons, Davis! I only gave you one job, and it’s to keep her in your sight all the time because I want you to protect her and not to let her wander around the city alone!” I walked past him toward the car and stopped him when was about to open the door for me. “Don’t! I will drive alone. Go search the penthouse and find something on why she ran away. And don’t show your fucking face until you have something to support your reason, otherwise, you’re fired!”

I took the driver seat and drove off. The tires screeched against the pavement, but I didn’t give a fuck even I would violate traffic laws.

I’d been a good citizen and hid myself from reality. Now, I was ready to embrace my true identity and ready to reveal to her, then she fucking left me. No matter how many times I called and sent her a bunch of messages, she didn’t even care. I wondered what made her runaway like her arse was on fire. I couldn’t find a single reason.

Most women would only leave when they found you cheating. Megan was aware of Meadow, and she was long gone in the picture. Everything was driving me insane. When I could grasp my future, it just vanished into the fucking thin air.

Dr. Reed didn’t know where Megan was and said she didn’t report to her work. I’d been calling her friends, and they were all telling me the same. Now, I had this theory that one of them was hiding Megan away from me.

I dialed her number again. This time it went to her voicemail. She turned her phone off. Great. Fury filled my veins. My skin vibrated that I couldn’t do anything.

I dialed Dr. Reed again, this time, she picked up almost immediately.

“Dr. Reed, if you are hiding her from me, just tell me the truth before I will let my men search for her.”

“Why? And who are those men, Forrest?” Her questions had me paused that I felt she knew something.

“You know why, Dr. Reed.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t.”

I did a guttural roar. “She could be in danger.”

“How so?” Her reaction had me thinking. I knew she loved her daughter so much. She should be panicking right now, but I couldn’t hear that reaction.

“I met my father yesterday, and please don’t tell me you didn’t get why I’d been seeing you for years.” I choked out my words. My eyes stung to the thought that Megan would be in danger, and if my father wouldn’t uphold at the end of the bargain, so help me God.

“So, it’s true then?”

“What’s true?”

“I think I misread you, Forrest. I think I am not good at my job anymore.”

“You doubt yourself? And what do you mean by that?” I was totally confused.

“That you are not who I think you are.”

“I never lied to you. You are the expert who can read human behavior and emotions. Tell me if I ever lied to you, Dr. Reed. And if you can prove it, I will leave Megan alone, because the last thing I would do to her was hurt her or put her life in danger. I’d rather see her safe from distant than she’s with me living in fear. Because I’ve been there, and a life like that is like living in hell.”

“I like you, Forrest, and Megan has changed these past few weeks. She faced her fears, accepted things that she left for years, and she even learned to forgive herself. I haven’t seen her for years because no matter how hard and painful it was for me I had to let her go, respect her decisions, and let her choose the life she wants to be a part of it. I always have hope that one day she will realize and come back to fix what she left behind. Then she came back, and I’d never seen her happy in years since her dad died.” Her dad died. I could feel the fresh emotions through Dr. Reed’s voice, making an unsettled feeling in my stomach.

How did he die? Was that why Megan didn’t want to be tangled in a relationship? Scared of losing someone again?

“I’m sorry to hear about your husband.”

“We were never been married, Forrest, but thank you. You see how you affect Megan. You changed her. Right now I am afraid I will lose her again.” Right now. Jesus! She knows where Megan is.

“I won’t let that happen again, Dr. Reed. She changed me as well. I’d been planning to meet my father for years, but I didn’t know where to start. I risked something, everything. I sacrificed something just to settle and find answers to what happened to me and my mother. And one thing that pushed me to do the risk for the right reason was Megan. She made me realize how life was so short. If it wasn’t for her over the past few weeks, I would have listened to my mother, but I kept thinking of Megan that what life could I give her behind the shadow. I know it’s too early to think about it, but I like the feeling of being with your daughter. I’ve never felt more alive in years. But with her, I want to live. I want to have a normal life. So please, just tell if me she’s safe and okay? Because I am going insane right now thinking that she’s in danger. I won’t ask you where she is. All I want is for you to tell me yes if you know she’s safe. If something bad happens to her, I feel like it’s on me, Dr. Reed.” I closed my eyes for a moment, silently begging to hear her answer. “Please?” I never begged to anyone, but I would do it in a heartbeat for as long as I knew Megan was safe somewhere.

“She’s safe. She didn’t report because she asked for a day off.”

My chest felt hollow. Was I the reason? Or was she just not feeling well? “I-is she okay?”

“She’ll live.”

“What happened, Dr. Reed?” My stomach twisted with guilt. I felt terrible for causing them trouble.

“You tell me, Forrest.”

I took a deep breath because no matter how I wanted to crack my skull to find answers, I couldn’t think of anything to make her run away from me like that. She was in my penthouse, patiently waiting for me, and I was so thrilled to tell her that I was getting my life back. Something happened there she figured out that scared her. What was it?

“I wish I know.” I drew a deep breath. “The last time I saw her, she made me promise to come back to her. Then Davis, the man who drove her to my apartment said, she ran away.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. If you care for Megan, you should stay away from her. It’s better this way while her feelings for you aren’t too deep. She’d been hurt, broken, and lost her way. As much as I like you for her, I love her so much, and all I want is for her to be happy and safe. And if you can’t give her that, then you’re not good enough for my daughter.” The line went dead. Her words sliced deeply into my heart.

I am not good enough for her. Those words swirled in my brain. It hurt like hell. So excruciating that it felt like I was shredded alive. I wasn’t totally prepared to hear that. I couldn’t see straight. Everything around me blurred in a haze, and my world suddenly spun around me.

I couldn’t breathe. It was fucking hard to breathe. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping I had something to hold on to, not to breakdown in the middle of the road. I felt so abandoned, lost in the middle of darkness, in vain, in sorrow. A wave of defeat twisted inside me, just thinking that I was going to lose her. I am losing her. I can’t let that happen.

Jesus!

The honking startled me and brought me back to where I was. I blinked and wiped my eyes. I wasn’t aware I was already shedding tears. The last time I cried was when I had to be separated from Mama. And it felt exactly the same. Then it hit hard that had my stomach somersaulted. I love Megan. I fucking love her. And I screwed everything up.

It may sound pathetic, but I was not going to giving up just like that, and Dr. Reed couldn’t dictate me. No, one. I took a deep breath and grabbed all the strength I had and I dialed Dr. Reed again.

“Forrest.”

“I mean no disrespect, Dr. Reed. I know how you feel towards your daughter. You don’t trust me now. You thought I couldn’t make your daughter happy, and I was not capable of keeping her safe. I’d been hiding behind the shadow for years, and it was not for nothing. It was to protect the person I love. It was to prepare myself to face the cruelty of the world I was living in. Right now, I am ready for those obligations, and one of them is to take back my woman. To tell her who I was and who I am now. To prove to her that I can protect her with my life, to show her how much she means to me, and how much I can show her my love for her for eighteen months. Call me a relentless asshole, but I have also patience and perseverance, and I am willing to do everything just to have Megan back. And if you will block my way, consider yourself warned. I will have her back whether you like it or not, and I will make sure to prove you wrong. I will also make sure that I am good enough for Megan to make her proud of me. I will make sure that I will have her trust and heart back. I will find her, and if I find her, I won’t let her out of my sight, and I won’t ever let her go. I wouldn’t be Ellery Forrest Keighley Kentworthry for nothing.”