Love Is Second Best — Chapter 40: I LOVE YOU GOODBYE

(Flashback, months before Adrian finally confessed to Carmella)

I am sitting on the table that Adrian has prepared for the both of us. It’s been months since we knew each other and we have a lot of things we shared that’s both common and different to both of us.

“Well, what can you say to the most handsome friend you got?”

“What?” I can’t help but chuckle. I shook my head and he laughed even more from the reaction I am showing him.

“How sure are you for it?” I asked him back with a challenging tone. He grinned as he held my hand all of a sudden. I am busted. I mean, my heart can’t help but beat a little bit faster this time. I hope he didn’t see me blush or something like that. Gosh, Am I looking like a big tomato about to burst.

“I can see it the way you reacted to what I said a while ago.” I tried pulling my hand off his touch but then he gripped it tightly so that I can’t let go anymore.

“Not so fast, my princess.”

“I told you I am not Princess Diana…” I looked down as I chewed my inner lower lip because I can’t stand how my heart went giddy.

“You know what? You should stop this. We’re in a public place, you know.” I reasoned out. However, the way he’s looking at me is too much I guess he’s not buying what I am telling him. I looked around and I can see some people our age starting to whisper to each other.

Of course, I will not wonder anymore because he’s very popular. He’s IanPeep, a famous vlogger and influencer. Not only that, he’s popular with girls and he has a lot of fans that are mainly composed of them all.

“Well, I just do what makes me happy and not look at the validation of other people. I guess you should also learn to do that too.”

I swallowed as I met his eyes. He looked dead serious, gosh!

“Well, I get your point, you know. What I mean is that, I am not really used to many people looking at us as if we’re already a…” I paused. I could see him smile as if expecting a continuation to my sentence. I swallowed again. My goodness! Why is this so hard! I felt like I am sandwiched in the middle of something I don’t even understand.

“Couple?” How can he read my mind! Is he a mind reader or something? He’s so unbelievable!

“Y-Yeah...sort of.” I stuttered as I looked down. He grinned as he lifted my chin up for me to meet his gaze again. Why is he doing it as if it is his hobby? I can’t even stop him or something. There’s like a magnet that’s pulling me to follow what he’s doing. I can’t even tell my heart to stop or pause or what. It’s all over giddy and giggling and happy...happy. Yeah, that’s the exact word.

“If I ask you about love, what will be your response?”

“Hmm, that depends.” I answered right away before his eyes. We’re facing each other.

“I mean, you can’t stop love…” He added. I chuckled in a bitter tone and I guessed he sensed it right away.

“Tell that to my mom.I guess she’ll definitely have a word for you.”

“I guess I am lucky enough to have my understanding parents with me. They support me in everything that I do in life.”

“Not every person is given that chance, Ian. I guess you’re both lucky and blessed to have them, while I have the very opposite of what you’re talking about.”

“What do you mean? Is it your mom?”

“Yeah, long story to tell. I guess you’re in Alwin Geroche University that’s why you’re not familiar to my ‘terror’ mom.” I laughed but I can see that he’s feeling my hurt from deep within. I liked this part of Adrian. He’s being sensible in all situations.

“Hmm, I guess that’s just normal. Moms could be overprotective at all times.”

“Wait till you meet my mom.”

“Wow, hearing those words from you? I can sense that your mom is someone to be scared of. Is she a lioness or something?” I just looked at Adrian and he stopped from laughing in a lower voice. I took a deep breath and I guess he knew what I really meant by it.

“I guess I can’t confess my love for you just in case?” I can’t help but freeze. Did I hear words right? What did he mean by ‘confessing’ his love for me? Does he really mean it? Or is it only a big joke?

“W-What did you just say?”

He grinned and shook his head. He started to eat the food that’s on our table. “Don’t mind that one. It might not let you sleep tonight.” I jokingly frowned and he chuckled even more.

“But you know...I mean it.” He said in a very low voice as if a whisper. However, it didn’t escape my ears. My heart never stopped racing as if I am finishing a marathon. How can he be this harsh? How can he be this straightforward? How can he be this direct to the point of telling me he loves me?

Is it the answer to my prayers every night? To finally know he felt the same way too? How could he confess this indirectly that’s bringing me confusion this time? I am scared to risk it. I also followed what he’s doing right now. He’s eating some snacks. Burgers, pasta and fries. However, I guess I am only chewing or eating just because I have to. He bought all of these for both of us to eat. However, I am more digesting what he said a while ago.

“You know what’s very hard?” He said and I lifted my head up from eating my pasta. He chuckled a little when he noticed the sauce stains beside my lips. I also smiled in return.

“Hmm?”

“You’re sure of your feelings to that person but that person is not even sure of you.” I almost choked on what I was eating after he said those words. I could see that he’s too worried he stood up to transfer to the chair that’s beside me. He gently massaged my back as I continued coughing. I can feel some parts of the residue of the food went inside my nose because of those shocking words from him. I didn't even see them coming in the first place.

“Are you okay?”

“More than okay, thank you…” I nodded when I saw his killer smile now that he’s even near me. I can feel like we’re inches afar. I can smell his manly, sexy scent.

Not okay. You’re giving me a headache. I never knew this love could be very confusing too.

----end of flashback---

“Hey, dude.” Kara tapped my shoulders. I looked at her with eyes swollen because of too much crying. She’s staying in my room after father Leonard ‘s permission that she will be staying with me for a while.

“Hey…” I chuckled but the tears were like having their race down my cheeks.

“Gosh, do not give me that face, I want to cry too, you know.” She said as she rushed towards me to hug me tight. I responded as I hugged her more. I could almost feel my bestfriend’s erratic heartbeat. Her heart is racing too fast.

“Thank you, best. You know what? I can feel that you’re the only one who could ever understand me right now.”

“Well, who could it be aside from me? Duh?” I jokingly pulled her hair as I chuckled but she got irritated that she stopped me from what I am doing to her and scolded me instead.

“I don’t want you to appear crazy in front of me. Stop that laughing, dude. You’re scaring the hell out of me. Cry if you have to but please be consistent. Cry only and that’s all, okay?”

Upon hearing those words from my bestfriend, I can never measure the tears getting out of my eyes.I realized I am saying things right. She’s the only one that’s on my side. Although we’re all okay with my family now, I can never hide the fact that they were all into Elise Hope’s condition. They loved Elise Hope more than I did. I could not ever take that fact away from her now that she’s having a disability I can’t ever heal forever, no matter how I will try to.

“Kara, do you love me? Please tell me you love me.”

“Of course I do, my dear.”

“Thank you so much. I just want to hear those words. I guess I need them right now.” I can see that Kara couldn’t help but to cry with me too. She hugged me tight again, maybe to let me feel that she’s sincere with the words she told me.

“I can’t believe that it was just so easy for you to let go of my cousin. I partly hated you for that.”

“If you’re in my situation, you will do the same, Kara.” She cupped both of my cheeks and let me face her, meeting her eyes.

“You’re one, amazing woman dear. I am really proud of you.”

“That’s so nice for you to say, Kara. I always appreciate it. I love you my dearest best friend. I will never ever trade you for anything in this world.”