A Word of Praise — Chapter THIRTY-EIGHT

Shit. Kiara knew she shouldn’t have said that, but all those memories and emotions were prickling through her skin. She thought that at least her mumbled words would be enough to get him stunned for a while, but of course she wouldn’t be that lucky.

“What are you talking about?”

“Nothing” She closed her eyes hard, trying to think of a way out.

“You said I’m a murderer”

“Well, did you ever kill anyone?” Sarcasm. That was her way out.

“No” He all but screamed.

“Very well then, congratulations” She turned around again and strode back to Amanda’s room. This time, she was successful in stunning him long enough for her to escape.

She didn’t know he’d want to talk, least of all apologize. Of course she didn’t intend to make that comparison, but the idiot had mentioned them and suddenly she was all too aware of the date. In roughly a week her death’s anniversary would come and… No. She refused to go down that road.

She was done with all the family drama – hers and his. She was done with the role she was playing, and she was most of all done with him. Or would be, as soon as he stopped being in her line of sight.

At that moment, being done with him was a bit harder than she expected. She was trying to cling to the absurd of what he had said the day before, but her own defense mechanisms prevented her from dwelling over it. If she thought too much, she’d be back to missing her parents, and she couldn’t.

When the time came to get the car to the landing strip, she glued herself to Amanda for support. The woman turned out to be an amazing person and had been a real angel to her the night before. Kiara was scared to think she almost shared the whole story with her, but was glad she could suck the words back in before they could come out.

She could almost hear her last therapist saying it was fine to tell other people things about her life, but she still didn’t want to share. Not with her. Whenever Kiara thought about it, she went back to that moment she almost said it all to him instead. She could feel the words flowing when she talked to Chris, and it was scary as hell. Especially since he deserved none of it.

Her attachment to him was almost palpable. It felt like the prospect of something unknown, and she’d usually dive into it without giving it much thought. But she couldn’t have that, not with that many red flags. That was why all things related to Chris had to go.

She just hoped the Wrights would refrain from talking to her on the flight after her outburst from the night before. Not that she regretted it, because she didn’t. But there was a major chance she’d punch one of them in the face if they talked down on her because of it.

Lucky for her, the whole Batman situation worked in her favor once again. Throughout the weekend she noticed how Edgar and Patricia never approached the dog, and it only confirmed her suspicion that money draws dogs away. Except for Chris, but he didn’t count. Either way, it meant that his parents would fly on a different plane because they refused to be confined with the dog. Pricks.

She didn’t fail to notice how Chris split the seats in a way that would put the two of them together, with a little privacy she wasn’t looking for. The upside was that Batman was by his feet, and she’d be able to pet him as much as she wanted during the flight. She’d miss that.

When they took off and Chris didn’t say a word, she thought she might get away from the talk she knew he wanted to have. Then the flight kept going and he remained silent, which caused her to shift uncomfortably.

When the pilot announced the landing, she was simply angry. At him, for not talking to her, and at herself for being sad about it. She felt like the daughter of an absent parent, that knows he doesn’t deserve her longing but can’t keep herself from feeling it.

When they landed, she just wanted to go home and forget about everything they could have been. She was calling an Uber home when she felt his presence behind her. The way her heart sped up made her frustratedly clench her teeth.

“Kiara, we need to talk”

“Why?” She needed to remain at least apathetic if she hoped to get through this conversation.

“You know why”

“We are not friends, Chris. We don’t need to talk about our problems”

“Don’t do this. Why are you shutting me down?” He was back at that commanding tone, and it made a fire stir inside her. Why couldn’t he be like that with his family too? If he were, it might remove enough red flags for her to cave to her wish to try it out.

“What do you want?”

She looked right into his eyes with a fierce expression, hoping to pressure him to give up. Instead, he took her face between his hands and got closer.

“I want to know you. I’ll take you to dinner, invite you to my house. We’ll do it right this time.”

He was looking at her with those deep brown eyes that didn’t plead, they demanded. And damn, she enjoyed seeing it almost as much as tearing it apart. It led her back to their first encounters, filled with witty remarks and sarcastic comebacks that made her feel alive. But she couldn’t give in… not unless he knew just how wrong he was.

“What about yesterday’s fiasco?”

“Don’t worry about that. It was bad, but you can always apologize to them and…”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” She shouted, prickling his hands off her cheeks, and earning the attention of a few people on the private landing strip. It was incredibly uncomfortable, but that conversation was worse.

“Why can’t you…” He began to talk, but it sounded like he didn’t get the message, so she interrupted.

“Fucking hell, you are unbelievable. I asked about our conversation’s fiasco Chris, not about your parents. Don’t you understand? I don’t give a damn about them. This is about you and me”

“You don’t understand!” He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, clearly annoyed by the course of the conversation. Well, she had the right to be annoyed too.

“It doesn’t seem like you’re going to tell me, are you?” She waited, staring at his wordless lips. “Didn’t think so”

The uber had arrived during their talk, so she turned her back on him and walked away. She wanted to cry, because that was probably the saddest she’d been in a long while. But she knew it wouldn’t come, it never did. Maybe when she was back at her place… She hoped, but knew it was unlikely. She’d have to endure the sadness bottled up inside once again.